Ramblings of a Pigaboo

+This Chinese New Year holidays..

2012-02-01T12:33:00.000+08:00

Long holidays for Chinese New Year this year.

Today, is my first day of working again after the long holidays. Have not really been doing anything good except resting at home, sleeping late in the wee hours, shop and buy, spending times with my boyfriend and the dogs. :D

The Angpows for Maxxi & Toby this year.

And I took it to buy a small comfy house for both of them..;)

While I am expecting it to be an awesome day today, I received rather a bad news today. 2 of my colleagues resigned at one time yesterday. I got a shock of it, but try to calm down myself before anything because I have never expect it to be so soon. Yes, I have sensed it, but not during the CNY or after taking the bonus. I started to question and understand that, 99% of the people who works for people will do that too. Maybe, one day I will be the same although, I have never, never done it before. I know its not good, so I will not do it I just do not understand why people will do it that way. Seriously.

Anyway, we wish them Luck!

A Good News!

Last Sunday, I finally mustered up my courage to do something I have been fearing of pains, but I would like to challenge myself of bearing this pains – Yes, I have done a tattoo on my right leg near the ankle. And, it’s AWESOME! I would say, it’s bearable pain. I salute those peoples who love tattoo and has paint all over their bodies.

I am still thinking if I should get one on my shoulder.Muahahahahaha..

Happy working, lads!

+May God Bless Lil Kelvin Ling..

2012-01-06T12:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, 4^th January 2012 – I was at Uncle Yap’s funeral wake. The ambiance was pretty gloomy and everyone was talking about he sudden death of him. He was playing only the first round of badminton as usual, felt a little exhausted and rested for awhile, while talking with his friends. Suddenly he fainted, and passed out. No more pulse from him.

I sent my condolences to Barry, although almost breaking down as Uncle Yap is someone I knew, and now, he is sleeping in the coffin, forever. Life, is that fragile. Now you see, next you don’t. Barry had just seen him few hours before that, and never, never thought that seconds was the last time. Kenny, was on his way back to Malaysia, bought many Chinese New Year clothes for him, but did not have the chance to give it to him anymore. The mother has been living with him all these decades, and from then on, every morning, she has to wake up alone, all alone by herself. I couldn’t imagine how her mother is going to accept this. I just understand that it’s going to be hard.

Today, they will be seeing him off for one last time. Today, will be another heart-wrenching moments to cry. His father, is no longer there.

Everyone’s life is destined. When God says it’s the time for you to go, then it is. I would have encouraged and said many good things about why God wants to take someone away, but this time, it’s too sudden. I have no reason and I can’t think of any because, I wanted to ask Him why did He took him away without him leaving any words to his wife, and his children. Couldn’t imagine if this happen to me.

*********************************

On another hand, I came across a shocking and ruthless news of a second-wife from China being suspected of murdering the whole family – the husband, the husband’s mother 76 years old, and the 3 children from first marriage aged only 10, 8 and 7. The 8 year-old boy is still fighting with his life in the hospital. He is badly injured. They are bludgeoned by heinous murderers who came in slashing all of them ruthlessly, and while the second wife escaped upon hearing noises and shouts from downstairs. She is now being reprimanded by police.

The ex-wife was in Singapore,and came back to look after the only left son. But in Facebook, she posted in Chinese, “Why did you kill my lovely daughter?” and in a photo, “They did not say they did not like you. Even when taking photo, they hold your hands. How can you treat them like this?”

I started to put myself into her shoes. I felt the pains. Excruciating pains, no one can understand this. Only the victims. Where is the humankind conscience? How can they act ruthlessly like this?

I pray, for God bless lil Kelvin Ling who is fighting for his life in the hospital to recover soon.

+R.I.P Uncle (Kenny's Dad)

2012-01-04T13:54:00.000+08:00

Today’s morning, 4 Jan 2012 – I received a rather disheartening text message from Angel, “Ken’s dad has just passed away.:(“

My first question that popped into my mind was, “Which Ken?” Because I did not want to believe that it was the Ken that I knew – Kenny Yap.

His dad, in my memory years ago when I last met him, was a sporty and energetic man who plays badminton every week. He does not look like old frail man. I have never, never thought of this to be happen at least, so soon.

My mind was rather disturbed since morning. Again, it’s the loss of someone I am not close to, but someone I knew. I used to hang out together with Barry at his home, we were very close at a point of time and we always see his dad, even had dinners together. He was a quiet kind man.

He had his 1^st round of badminton, and while taking a rest and talking with his friends, he suddenly passed out. Sudden. It was too sudden. The saddest part is, Kenny was not there in Malaysia. He was in airport just about to fly back to Malaysia when he received such news. I guess, it was not easy for him to accept the fact, thinking it might be a joke or nightmares. But, reality sometimes, hurts.

Suddenly I thought of my father. I re-count his age. He is now 53 years old. What if he sleps tonight and never wake up tomorrow like his dad?

I am quite certain it’s one of the hell journeys to walk through. Life and death is a natural process in humankind life. Inasmuch as it’s easy to say this, and to console my friends with condolences words, but I guess, at this time, nothing else really can help. They just need to grieve, to feel sorry, to cry, and stood up again, to be strong..

R.I.P Uncle. We’ll remember you, always.

+My New Year 2012 First Book.

2012-01-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

I 'd always love inspirational books.

Today, I was going around the books at the MPH and stumbled across a book of Lee Kuan Yew ; My Lifelong Challenge.

I still yet to finish it, but I will blog about it when I am finish with it in a month time. :)

+Hip Hip Hooray, Welcome 2012!

2012-01-01T20:22:00.001+08:00

How was your first moment of walking into Year 2012? Did you feel the bad feelings of leaving Year 2011 and at the same time, was on cloud nine to welcome the first seconds of Year 2012?

I couldn’t remember the feelings I had during the welcoming of Year 2011 last year, so this year I decided to blog about it; hoping this feeling will last in my mind.

************************************

We did not rocks in the clubs as usual, but chose to be in Library, Subang with Terence Teng and friends. I would say, it was quite boring; not as happening as it used to be; maybe we were in pretty conflict of minds while welcoming them. The day itself, we just quarreled over petty matters and got over it after that.:)

The New Year resolutions?

I hope my dad, my mum, my brother, my grandma and people around me have the best health, wealth, and happiness in their life. I put health first, because I realised without it, nothing else concerns. Being healthy is so so so so so important than having a big bungalow, driving in a lamborghini or flaunting with a Hermes. Just when I am starting to accept the fact that I am gonna hit 30s soon, my body machines tend to be weaken. I am now starting to consume more supplements, healthy food and minimizing the consumptions of alcohols - my favourite!

Wealth & happiness to me, goes concurrently! :) I would rather cry in a Audi than in a Malaysian made car. :P That's what my best friend says.

***********************************

I hope to have a miracle in my relationship, in searching back the miracle feelings that we once had. The other day, I was talking to my colleague, who is going to get married without a marriage proposal. She just thinks they should get married because it's time to walk onto the stage. At that point of time, I can't accept he rpoint of thinking. To me, marriage is very important. Its an acknowledge of commitment from a man to the woman. It's a lifetime promise.
As a Virgoan, I expect my man to propose me from the bottom of his heart; not necessarily an extravagant one, but a romantic one. Something truth from his heart that wants US to be together.

But later, as time passed, I guess I have started to be lenient...not to have high expectation because when you choose people, at the same time, you are being chosen. And most importantly, our parents will be the happiest person to see the children moving onto another stage. I hope, my parents will be the happiest father and mother to watch me grow, to watch me walking down the aisle with a man I called, Husband...and in searching of my lifetime happiness with him..

So, what's a marriage proposal? It's just a bonus, I guess...

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I hope my Maxxi & Toby stays healthily. I can't resist to smile each time I take look at my boys photos everyday at work, and immediately those frustrations lift off my shoulder. They are like, my pillar of strengths that keep me going because, I want to give a better life to their 10-years life. Maxxi, understands me very well. He sleeps with me, waited me patiently outside the room, wakes me up from sleep, barks at me, plays with me - he uses his own way to communicate with me.

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The first day of 2012, I had a tiring & exhausting day. I am here blogging after been standing and “instructing” the boyfriend to carry this and that because today is the shifting house for Henry and his family. Shifting house is never an easy task tho. Now, I just wish someone could massage both my legs, bring me a cup of ice blended cuppocino, and the boyfriend to company me for a movie at home.

But well, reality is always hurtful. The boyfriend is busy with works now, while I am alone….yea, with my dogs.

2012 – You better be good. I will be an even better person.

Xoxo

+Mary on 25 December 2011

2011-12-25T17:25:00.001+08:00

This morning, my brother texted me.

"Don't know where to go. Very dulan now. Grandma want to eat vege."

I replied.

"Old people is like that. Is our responsibility anyway. You might not have the chance to do it anymore in few years time.:

Because, that reminds me of Grandpa Simon when he used to ask me to drive him to get some take aways, especially his favorite chicken rice shop nearby, I was very reluctant. I did it away, but was very unwilling. I showed him "black face", slammed the door, did many dirty things that knew I did not like it but he still ignorant to it knowing I was just a kid back then...

I missed Simon. I missed him deeply because he was with me for 25 years. I was the only female grandkid he loved most. But I was too young, and I never got the chance to be filial to him.

I wished, I could more for him. Talked to him, bring him out to his favorite places, even if it was boring to me, show him good movies, even though it was not my favorites, make him happy knowing his happiness with us is very limited..

The day when he left us, I missed him most. I still remember vividly those last times he was with us, and being carried away. It was the most regret things I done in my life.

The ol's says, birth, old, ill, death is necessary in life. To deal with all these, I guess it's not easy at all. We are not afraid of dying at all, but what we afraid most, is when our loved ones leave us one by one, or when we leave the world one day, what we leave behind is only the presence memories to our loved ones on earth..

+Christmas on Sunday.

2011-12-25T16:59:00.001+08:00

Everytime when a New Year comes, I really, really hope I could learn to apply the art of "Letting Go". Letting go of all the past, and never have any feeling at them. I have a very bad memory, but whenever I read down all my entries, I am happy that I jotted the down, but at the same time also very sad that those memories shed my tears.

I have got too many, too many unhappy events in the past. I wish I could do better. I wish, I will have the courage to say all those to my parents, to my friends, to my past loves...to all special people I mentioned here in my entries. They are those who jotted little stories in my life story book.

I never wanna welcome a new year actually. No matter how positive thinking I forced myself to be, deep down, I knew welcoming a new year means, I am getting a year older, my parents getting a year older, my young memories get a year further, my pups getting a year older, Mary getting year older, everything just get a year older..what does it so good to be a year older?

When I was young, I used to pray to get old sooner. To skip school, and to work. Now when I think back, I was so naive and selfish. Just because I wanted to be older and to skip school, I have ignored the families that will grow old, ignored the memories that will go further. I was so selfish. The younger days me, I was so sinful.

I wish I could have a little more courage to say all this.

My brother posted something on his wall today.

在任何场合都需要披着假面具，
你不累我也累 @@"

I realized, he thinks the same as mine. But the only difference is, I have learn myself to think positively. We all, must learn to think positively anyway, no matter how hard the situation is, don't we?

I think, in my offguard defence, my memories is still with the Year of 2000, where we were still in Year 5 Secondary School of SMK Convent Klang. We skipped school, we cursed the teachers, we were rebellious, we abhors the rules, but we did together. Our feelings were genuine. We fell in love with first love, did all the things we think we should, we tried to live with each other, but we ended up separated after that because we understood each other too much. My love life were so messy back then, but we were very happy because of those ups and downs, we grow up and learned. We often go to mamak stalls nearby, gossips, chit-chatted, we went to tuition together, we were like kids, no worries at all.

But now, it's the story of 11 years ago. I really miss those happy moments.

+Uncle Kiat's 70th birthday

2011-12-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

Tonight is Uncle Kiat’s 70^th birthday at Taman Rashna, Klang. Remembering Uncle Kiat, I was never close to him, or maybe when I was really young, we were. My dad has been really close with him because both love to drink, and he loved my dad as a drinking companion. He has been really kind to our family as well. Each time when we have any problems, he has never been hesitate to say Yes.

We had 7 tables, 7 storey of cakes by Berry’s, and dinner started sharp at 7pm. All these, he insisted to have. And all his 4 children have been really obedient to fulfil all his wishes. It isn’t easy for someone to walk up to this stage. Now that his hair has turn all in white, I realised, how time really flies. I used to be his little niece, now, I am so grown up.

Tonight, dad talked something really touched my heart. I knew dad is one of the most happy person tonight because he loved Uncle Kiat the most. He treated him like a respective elderly person. He asked me to toast with Uncle and he will be very happy. I did.

I think dad was a little bit drunk. He told the uncles seated at the same table about my childhood. He said that when I was a little girl, I used to cry and asked to be seated on my dad’s lap while he was driving because I want to hold the steering. He still remembers every single journey of mine as a baby, walking up to this stage. The ol’s says in Chinese, “Fending a child up to 100 years, worrying up to 99 years..” which is true. No matter how old I grow, I am still a little girl in my dad’s little heart.

Dad loved children so much. I knew, he has been waiting for the day when he will be “promoted” to become a grandfather. I realised, dad is already in his 50s.

Sometimes, life is also very conflicting. I am still fighting for my dreams, but in fighting for all these, I will have to sacrifice something. But, if my dad can sacrifice his everything for us, why can’t us? I wish I could be a little selfish.

Whatever it is, Happy Birthday Uncle Kiat!

+AVYSSA's Xmas Celebration in LIbrary SS15, 2011

2011-12-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

Pictures speak a thousand words!

+Retract of Year 2011

2011-12-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

In another 10 more days, we are leaving the year of 2011, embarking into another new year of 2012.

While I paused, and retract back the year of 2011, I smiled. Because, it has been a good one. In my career, it has been a good one. In my love, it has been a good one. In my family, it’s getting way better. In my friendship, we are grown. Within myself, I have turn to be better. Finally, my days are no longer in darkness, in a lonely corner where I hid and cry myself like how I used to.

Well life, is so much about learning and everyday we are learning to be better.

I have learnt that love is not everything, but just a portion in life that makes it perfect. I have learnt that, life ain’t easy but we constantly looking for a balance point that makes us feel much better.

Few months back, one of my colleague’s sister has passed away. She, was only in mid 30s. She had a lung cancer. She battled for the disease for months, tried many ways to fight against it. Finally, she has lost in the battle and go. She, has beautiful family, siblings and a wonderful husband. The day when she died, she was dearly missed by her dad, siblings, families, colleagues, friends, and husband. I have never met her, but having to deal with the feelings of “waiting” for a miracle to happen, hoping that the God of Hell will not bring her close family member away everyday, it’s unbearable. Her husband, still posted messages on his Facebook, counting how many days she has left him. Still unwilling to let go.

Now I am so afraid, afraid I am leaving earlier than them one day, and left only painful memories. Life is only once, no take-2. I hope in coming years, I learnt to cherish, every single little things happen to me, and be grateful for every single souls that happen to walk into my life.

Having said that, recently I find that I am starting to have a bad memory. Not sure if it’s due to aging (stepping into 30s) or lack of supplements, I tend to easily forget things. I hope to keep a diary everyday, because I am afraid of losing those memories I am building now.

God asked me to draw up my dreamboard. I was reluctant, but knowing that I have to, I forcefully did it. This, is what I did. I hope one day, I will be able to achieve them all. ;)

+Maxxi Lim, My name

2011-10-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

When I was born, I have 5 siblings together. I was born as the only boy among them, and I was also the first little one to crawl out from my biological mum’s womb. I was there for about 2 months until a young lady came and took me away, leaving all my siblings crying behind, waving goodbye. I was upset, I did not know what have I done, that my-then owner did not want me. I was sad, I did not even have a time to bid farewell to my mum and sisters.

I was brought to another place, it was small and messy. There was another man and a …four-legged species, like me. But he has a brown and curl fur. He is big, and ugly too. I heard them calling him, Toby. He tried to sniff me, and play with me. But I did not want to. I felt annoyed that he followed me wherever I go. I had depression for 1 day, until I realized, this young lady could be my new owner. She called herself mummy, and called myself Maxxi. She told me my name is Maxxi Lim. Well, I think it sounds so gay!

Anyway, she feed me with food, shower me, dry me up, and massage me whenever I lie down. She even bought toys for me to play. At night, the man called as ,”daddy” locked me inside the crate. I cried,and I could not sleep. I got so used to sleep with my mum and siblings, but that night, I was all alone. That brown four-legged was sleeping next crate to mine, so soundly. I cried non-stop until mummy let me out and sleep with her. From that night onwards, I sleep next to mummy.

Mummy loved me dearly. I was clumsy and fat, sometimes, I fell. I always got bullied by this giant brown fur, but mummy always try to protect me. Sometimes, they go out and left two of us in the room. When they come back, I always in deep shit. Because I could not hold my urine for long. I peed and I shitted on my little mattress. There were stool everywhere. Daddy got angry and furious, he took out the cane and whack me like no one else business. But after that, they cleaned up my crib and play with me again.

I was very curious, curious of everything. I just can't sit still. My daddy called me a "ke poh chi:", means its busybody because I can;t rest myself unless I got very tired. I wander and sniff the whole area and I even played with myself. Sometimes, I provoked Toby. My daddy said I am very dominant of everything. When Toby is given a toy, I will snatch from him even though I already have one. When toby goes near them, I try to move him away. When Toby is given some snack, I snatch from him. Everyone says I am a big bully. Everyone does not love me. But please understand that this is my nature. I am lack of security. Please understand that, yiou may have everyone, but I only have you.

Days passed, I grow older, bigger and taller. And the brown four-legged, seems to be smaller and shorter.
I am now 1 year old. Mummy held a small birthday party for me. He got me a cake, but it was meant for her and daddy to eat. He got me a toy, but it was meant to share with Toby. Well, but the most important is, I got all the snacks! I love my mummy so much.

Whenever visitors come to my house, I bark! I bark because I was too happy! I never really have visitors coming to my place and play with me and when it does, I bark like no one else business. But they think I am too noisy, they don’t understand my expression. Sometimes, daddy whacked me, and I have to keep quiet. When he let me out of the crate, I went sniffing all of them. I jump on them, I was very curious about them, and I want them to call me, to touch me. But they shoosh me away. Maybe, I am big, grandma said I am ugly, maybe my claw has hurt them, but I hope they know, I don’t meant it that way. There were times, they only let Toby out and play with him, while I was left inside the crate, watching them play happily. I look at mummy pitifully, but mummy cannot do anything. Sometimes, daddy scolded mummy for letting me out.

I do not know why. But I just loved biting. I bite almost everything in the house and drive my mummy crazy. But yet, she still loved me most. I bite on their socks, furniture, tissues, pants, cloths, spectacles, everything! I even ate their cakes on the table secretly, but got caught after that because the crème stained on my fur. Yet, she still loved me most. Sometimes, daddy scolded mummy for protecting me when I done the wrong things. And mummy tells daddy, “He is still a baby…”, she always said that!

There was once, I bite on mummy’s hand and she bleeds. Daddy was very furious, he threw me on the floor, and mummy was crying. Then they went out. When they came back 2 hours later, daddy looked at me angrily. I knew I was in deep shit. Still, I hid myself behind mummy. I clinged hard to mummy, seeking for protection. Daddy scolded me for biting her hands.

I am sorry, mummy. I don’t mean to bite you. I hope you know, I was just uncontrollable when I am too engrossed into playing with Toby. Please do not disown me.

Still, mummy hugged and adored me.

We then shifted to somewhere else. Everything was messy again. But Toby was not there. Even though I hate Toby sometimes, but he is my good brother. My mummy always tell me, “Toby is your elder brother. You must loved him.” I wonder where he was, he was missing for days. I missed him so much.
In a new environment, daddy and mummy left me there. I barked, I cried, then I howled. I was too afraid of being alone. I have never being alone before. This place was a total stranger to me. I did not want to be there alone. Mummy quickly stepped in and hugged me, she told me not to be afraid. Then daddy came in, and whacked me with cane, asked me to keep quiet. Daddy put on my muzzle to prevent me from making noise, and he left me there.

5 hours later, they came home! I was jumping crazily in the crate. I saw my mummy! I cried, asked her to remove the muzzle. I was shivering then because I was too afraid. That night, I had bad diarrhea and mummy took me to my bestfriend, Dr. Yap for treatment. I heard them saying, I was paranoid of environment changed. Then I saw Toby! I was happy to see my brother back. He was hospitalized because of diarrhea too. But I was permitted to go home, Toby has to stay another 2 days. Poor Toby.

At home, I cling to mummy. I sleep under the blanket with mummy, I felt so insecure. But mummy’s warm body makes me feel secure enough through the night. Mummy never failed to protect me through the night. Sometimes, she wakes up in the middle of night just to make sure I pee and poo enough. Sometimes, she makes sure I am not starved. Sometimes, she comes back early, just to make sure we are alright.

Slowly, I am adapting to the place. I have a bigger place to run now! And sometimes, I get to go to the field next to our home awhile. Daddy said I am "illegal", so I have to behave quietly else the "bangla" will take me away.
Recently, mummy called me "xi xi"! How girly! But I like it. I think I have alot of pet names. Some big size spectacle-uncles would come my house and call me hak chai.

Mummy always buy me junkies and toys to compensate. She always talk to me like I understand. I always heard her saying, “You are a big boy now. Last time when I take you home, you are still very very small. Now you are big and naughty, but mummy still loved you most.”

Mummy, I love you too…

+Be Gratitude

2011-10-20T22:59:00.003+08:00

I really love this book immensely. It does not change me, but definitely open the window of my heart little by little. I hope, my friends who read my notes will somehow gain something from here. =)

I flipped through a page titled, “Attitude of Gratitude”.

Success is in the Fulfillment. Fulfillment Comes from Our Ability to Show Gratitude.

Gratitude is the ability to appreciate our present life, whatever it may be as it brings firth happiness and zest for living. Ability to show appreciates differentiates us the wise from the foolish. Not everything in this world comes naturally. We have to appreciate, appreciate the sunny sun, splashing waterfall, beautiful green sceneries, everything. As a wholesome human being, the most basic gratitude is to show to our mother who has endured much trouble in taking us here since conception. If we cannot even show out gratitude to our mother, can we consider ourselves better than the animals?

I remember the first time when I went into the interview room with my current employer, the one of the weird question he asked me was, “If tomorrow is the last day of the earth, what would you want to tell your mother or father?”
I paused. There were question marks inside my running mind. I thought he was trying to test on my answering intelligence part. After my successful employment, I slowly came to know that the key component to success is the sense of fulfillment. Fulfillment comes from our ability to show gratitude.

As when I read this lovely piece from the book, I sincerely felt the touch and the gratitude I have on my mother.

I thank my mum for taking care and protecting me in the womb
I thank my mum for enduring extreme pain during delivery
I thank my mum for forgetting her pain and turning in into joy after knowing that I have been safely delivered
I thank my mum for feeding me with all delicacies and taking care of me day and night
I thank my mum for letting me sleep soundly in a dry and comfortable position and disregarding her own discomfort
I thank my mum for breast-feeding, cuddling and nurturing me to ensure that I am happy and healthy without thinking of her own well-being
I thank my mum for washing away the filth without a concern for her smooth and soft hands
I thank my mum for always thinking of me when I have to travel afar and always looking forward anxiously to see me back
I thank my mum for her understanding and her willingness to ensure suffering on my behalf as she loves me dearly
I thank my mum for her everlasting love and concern to me.

My mum has done all the above and even more than it.

Be gratitude.

+Promise. 承诺

2011-10-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

Promise. 承诺

This what we what I learnt throughout the week, after my class last Saturday.

Promise, seems to be a simple word, but when we go through the understanding of what Promise is, the fundamentals..Promise, is more than what it is pronounced as.

Many of us promise something and forget the next. Or we promise something, and we do not act seriously on it. Many, takes the "OK" or, "Oh-(nod)" as "response" but how many of us know that it's not just a response, but a promise. When we say out something, we promise something, we ought to do it, to fulfill it.The first quality of fine life is to learn how to fulfil a promise made. Rich in money does not mean we are classy; but rich in quality does make you go higher level.

Yesterday, I learnt my lesson.

The employer instructed me to do something, trusting my professionalism, he passed on the task to me. I casually responded, "OK". But something came up, I postponed it but forgot to inform him. For him, he must be thinking that the task has been carried out. For me, it's just a day different. No biggie deal.

Until, problems came into the pictures. I realised, my response as , "OK" is not just a response to him, but a trust that I will carry out the duty accordingly.

Now, how many of us actually take Promise as a promise? Or merely just a response?

+It Must Be Good

2011-10-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

I read a book yesterday night. I realised I bought it years back, but did not really spend a time to really read and go through about it. Now that I read back, something, inspired me and I would really love to share this story with you.

The book is called, "Be Happy, Be Wealthy" by Stanley Cham.

In an Eastern ancient kingdom, people lived peacefully and gracefully. Its success was credited to a great advisor named Mano.

Whenever a problem arose, the king would seek the help from the advisor. After some time, the king was quite fed up with Mano for he did not seem to have any better advice than that of "Whatever that has happened, it must be good!"

One morning, the King was fencing and he accidentally chopped off a portion of his little finger. He quickly went to seek Mano for advice. "My dear advisor, I have lost a portion my little finger. What do you have to advise?" The King asked in anticipation for a different answer. Mano looked at the King, paused for a moment and replied, "Your Majesty, whatever that has happened, it must be good!".

The King ws very angry, and ordered Mano to be serious. Mano reported, "Your Majesty, whatever that has happened, it must be good!". By now, the King was furious and warned the advisor to withdrawn his statement. Mano refused, and repeated the same. The King could not bear with it anymore and ordered to put Mano behind the bars.

That same evening, the King went for hunting. He saw a deer in the distance and shot at it. Because of his injured little finger, he only managed to injure the deer but not to kill him. The deer ran off to the jungle, and he chased. He lost his way in the jungle. At nightfall, the King was worried. Fortunately, he saw a burning fire in a distance. He traveled towards the direction and was happy to see people there. Unfortunately, those were the cannibals - people who eat human flesh. They caught the King, and tied him up to the tree. They celebrated, singed and danced. When it was time to boil the King, the headman began to conducta ritual until he realised that the King was incomplete being because of his injured finger. According to their beliefs, it is a bad omen to have eaten an incomplete human being. They have no choice, but to let him go.

At that time, the King suddenly realised what his advisor said was right. "Whatever that has happened, it must be good!". If not for his injured finger, the king would have been eaten.

When the King returned to his palace, he ordered Mano to come and see him. But still, the King could not comprehend completely on his advice. It was good for him, for it had saved his life, but how could it be good for the advisor when he was put into jail? Mano replied, "If your Majesty had not put me into the jail, I would have followed you. If those people couldn't eat you, they would have eaten me.".

Whatever that has happened, it must be good. Nothing happens by accidents. Everything that has happened had to be happen. Feeling sorry, regret, mad, angry over it will do us nothing more than harm. But by being composed, keeping cool, and maintaining calmness of mind, we will be in a better position to handle the life's situation better.

+Moving new place - 3rd day

2011-10-03T22:15:00.000+08:00

Toby is back today! And he is doing quite well. I am so happy seeing him at home again, and I am sure he is happy too.

;)

+ Moving new place 3rd day - Maxxi cries and howls at home

2011-10-03T09:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the third day at USJ home. The boyfriend and I have to leave him at home as we cannot possible to bring him everywhere we go. As we locked the gate, we waited outside for 5 minutes. He barked, and then he howls and cries. He howls like he is being tortured and in pains. My heart was aching hearing his cries. I knew he was afraid of being alone at home, especially when the place is not familiar to him.

He must be wondering if I am coming back again later, or why am I dumping him at a stranger's place, without friend. Toby is still at the vet, and most probably he is feeling fear of lonely.

I am so sad. He is big, but he has a chicken heart. He hid inside my blanket during his sleep. Inside, he feels secure enough under my arms.

+Moving new place - 2nd day

2011-10-01T20:41:00.000+08:00

Today is the 2nd day at USJ home. Have not really getting used to it yet, because my previous place was way better and safer. Yesterday, I even had fear while sleeping. Hate this insecurity, but I believed, slowly, I will be adapting to it. Just the matter of time.

2nd day at new place, is also the 2nd day without my lil Toby at home. He is still at Dr. Yap's clinic for monitoring his diarrhea. I have been calling to check out on him. This time, is the first time lil Toby stayed away from me so long, or usually he will be with Maxxi as his companion at the boyfriend's parent's house. But now, he is all alone, at a stranger's place. To me, he is still like a small baby. Very timid. He follows me wherever I go. To the toilet, to the kitchen, to the room, every step I make, he follows. And when he sleeps at night, his body tap near enough to mine.

I missed Toby....Mummy is missing Toby zai..
I wonder if he can get used to the strange little cage, and his new friends. I wonder if, he is still having upset stomach. I wonder if he thinks that Mummy did not want him and has abandoned him. I wonder if, he cries... I wanted to bring him home, but doctor suggested to let him stay another night. I know he misses me, just how I miss him too, terribly. It aches my heart knowing he is all alone. And he will be crying in the night looking for me.

On the other hand, Maxxi is still adapting to the new environment. He must be wondering all these, is not what he used to stay, what he used to see. Today when I came back from class in Klang, he was shivering inside his cage with his muzzle on. He barked when the boyfriend goes out, the boyfriend has not choice but to keeo the muzzle on him so that it wont disturb the neigbours. When I got home, he was so scare and shivering. He cried, and ran like a crazy dog. He was angry at us that we left him alone. Alone at a place he is not familiar with. Then he had green feces. I am not sure if he has ate the wrong food, but I quite sure he was in fear.

I hope, my darling pups will be getting better soon.

+ September, month of Stressful

2011-09-29T08:55:00.001+08:00

September supposed to be my favourable month. After a sweet and loving birthday night, thought that I am the luckiest girl on earth to found someone who isn't really rich, but is willing to accommodate all my needs, within his capabilities.

Not soon after that, something happened and we have to move out by end month, immediately. Moving new place, ain't easy. But weird strange, it was way happier and easier back then when we shifted here. But this time, everything was stressful. Not to mention about cleaning up the mess that we have done at this current owner's place, re-paintings, looking for the right colors, paints the new place, moving the stuffs, running errands up and down...all these, I understand that the another half is very busy while I have to work. To top it off, my no.1 is sick with diarrhea. I was afraid, he seems good but he does not digest pretty well. He got diarrhea for 2 days, and mess the place. We took turns to clean up, but sometimes, the another half is frustrated and stressful, throwing tantrums, venting out angers, etc..all these, I am swallowing myself, alone. I still think that, problems have come, and there is no point blaming anything, nor cursing nor scolding not throwing tantrums but look for a right solution and quickly solve it.

This morning, no.1 shitted again. Mess my blanket, and I suggested to bring him to the vet. I am afraid of Parvo virus. Although he is just an "animal"; and the another half bitterly said this, "Let him DIE!". I understand that he was angry, real hot but it's really irresponsible to utter those words. I started to think, if I have made the right choice, if either one of us, has change.

I am very, very stressful. I can't turn to anyone, anymore. The most trustable and reliable person should always be the one who is sleeping beside you, but to me, it only works for certain times, especially when he is troubled with something else, nothing else matter for him. Nothing else is important for him. I always tell him, we have to learn to control our emotion very well. In this, I think I have way higher EQ than him. When he is unhappy over something else, he makes people around him unhappy too. The question is, Why?

I started not to understand him very well. Or, have I changed over just a year?

+Cardinaboo

2011-08-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

I always love blogging. But time passes, I find myself wordless. Yet still, I love reading other people’s blogs, and admiring their expressions through wonder of words that come from their heart.

Time flicks, it’s middle of the month now reaching to September – my favorite month. Reminiscing the previous September, the relationship between the boyfriend and I still fresh. Our feelings still sparkles, and lovey-dovey words never failed to keep the relationship alive. I received my first laptop as my birthday present from the boyfriend. And I started to count down to my birthday..tick tock tick tock..wondering what’s my next. *wink wink*

The boyfriend got his new dream car, finally. And with my nickname on it. =P

+Importance of Good Health

2011-08-19T14:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday morning, I encountered a painful and scary experience. I was taking my breakfast before my works commence and suddenly I felt a tinge of painfulness strike my stomach. It was sharp pain that lasted about 10-15 seconds and I can barely move. This pain was exactly the same like the one I had beginning of the year for Ovarian cyst and I had surgery to remove it after that.

When it stopped, I stood up and walked towards to my car. Suddenly, I felt dizzy and my vision became blurs. I can't see anything for about 15 seconds then. I was so dizzy, I clutched tight to my boyfriend. That moment, I tried hard to open my eyes and look around but everything is in black. Nothing. I can see nothing. I am so scare, I nearly broke down.

Then my vision became clearer, and clearer. I felt like I am sweating all out of sudden. I was feeling rather uncomfortable and I went to see a doctor. The doctor explained to me that it might because of the cyst that I have removed out. Every month during menstruation, I will encounter such pains.

I realised it is so important to have a good health. I felt so sorry for not taking care of my health in the younger days. Now when age is growing, everything seems unright.

+New discovery on myself.

2011-07-07T22:28:00.000+08:00

I find that I am slowly changing. I tend to have a very soft heart to feel sympathy on others, and that is why I easily put trust on a stranger. Not sure if its good or bad to have mercy, knowing today in this world, trust, is no longer exist.

A staff of the boyfriend's ran away with his money one night. Huge amount, and it belongs to company. The boyfriend will have to bear this amount if he did not come back. The boyfriend was very mad, of course, and all of them has sent out the warning of wanting him back for a good lesson.

I do not know this guy very much. I have seen him, a young boy but today, I tried to send a SMS to him, hoping he could turn back, surprisingly. I trust not all people are bad guys. He is good, maybe, but he made small mistake by gambling and running away with money.

The next thing I knew, he replied me! He told me the reasons he went off and he was afraid to come back. He told me he knew he made wrong decision and hope they could forgive him. He told me no one will hire him a job because he has no qualifications and knowledge. He told me he has no money, and that is why he does not earn any respect from people. He told me he has a dad but his dad did not want to raise him. He told me he has no one in this world but only his friends. He told me he wanted to come back and give himself in to the boyfriend, because he did not want to leave his friends. He told me, he has no place to sleep either and hoping the bit of money he took will helps him abit. He told me many things that I suddenly have mercy on him even though his mistakes affected our life very much.

Who does not make mistakes? I have the heart to help him, but I am just too helpless. This feelings feel terrible...

+Eiko at home!

2011-05-22T16:02:00.002+08:00

Eiko cames into our lives, as being part of the family – after Popi died of illness last week. Eiko is just 4 weeks old, he lived with his 13 other siblings and his mummy dog in a corner at a apartment. They have no one to take care indeed. I felt pity, but I could only take 1 home and nurture him properly.

Yesterday was Eiko’s first day at home. Maybe he did not get used to it; he cried non-stop; so pitifully. I guess he is missing his mummy dog and other siblings. When he was born, he was surrounded by many other siblings, keeping the warmth together. But now, he is all alone. He needs some time to adapt to it.

I am missing Eiko already…;)

+Me Papa..

2011-05-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

My papa,is neither a celebrity nor a tycoon. He is just a normal businessman with a small business in the market. My Papa is relatively dark and good looking, and that was how he caught my Mi’s attention, “cheated” her away to marriage. Together, they gave birth to a little princess soon after they got married. The wedding was normal; my Mi had a beautiful white gown. My papa is not very rich at that time, so they held a normal wedding reception with close relatives; but they were all fill with brimming of smiles and joys of laughter’s.

When Mi is almost time to give birth to her little princess, Papa was waiting outside the labor room, full of anxiety. The nurse came out with a baby, a big baby weighed 8.9lbs with thick black hair. Papa asked the nurse randomly, “Wah! Whose baby is this? So big like a doll!”. The nurse smiled and replied, “It’s yours.”

I could barely remember my childhood. Above imaginations were shared by my Mi when we used to talk about it, and from those old photos that kept a thousand memories, thousand words. I remember when I was young, about 8-9 years old, I was already very rebellious. Yet, papa tried to give in. I did many things that have hurt his little heart, yet papa forgave. Whenever I crave for something, as long as he can, he would give it to me. I remember there was one occasion in a FunFair, Papa wanted to get a doll for me. The game was to throw the ring exactly on the right spot from a distance. Papa cheated in that game and got me a doll, in the end; the promoter saw what happened and said, “The next time you can’t do that again.”

There was also another occasion where, we went out for dinner with other close relatives. The time was getting late and papa was still not willing to go back. The rebellious me, I frowned and sulked to go home. When things got out of my patience, and papa suddenly stood up to take his drinks, without him realizing, I took off his chair. Of course he did not realize it and he sat on it, on the floor. Everyone scolded me in the end, I cried and ran outside. Papa was angry. Brother Jerry came consoling me.

Once, papa had a big fight with Uncle Huat. Papa was very unhappy. It was the first time papa got so furious at what people said. Why I said this was, papa is a forgiving person. He hardly takes into his heart what other people said about him. He just smiled and laughed even when people make fun of him. For him, we are all a big family, shouldn’t take grudge together. But that night, papa was very unhappy, and spat back at Uncle Huat. He drove out alone. I called papa immediately. My happy papa, suddenly turns to be another person. I was worried sick about him. I cried, because I did not want him to be unhappy.

Dad wakes up at 6.30am every morning without fail. No matter how drunk he was, even at his most hangover, he would wake up. He knew he has a family to take care of; all he wants is a little comfort for his family. At home, dad did not oblige me to do any housework. I’d never really done my own laundry until the age of 28 –when I started moving out.

I grow up to be pretty fussy on food when papa occasionally said, “Leave it if you can’t finish off the food. No point torturing yourself because of that.” And so, I grow up with that kind of concept where I just love leaving a small portion of leftover each time I take my meal. And that was when everyone said, “It’s not right.” But I just can’t finish it already. Papa would do anything, just to please me, as long as he could.

On my first trip overseas, for the first time I was away from my family for a week time – papa was also worried about me. Worried that I get bullied, worried that I get cheated, worry that I do not have enough money to use, worried that I afraid of ghost and darkness, worried of this, worried of that…I remember one night in Bangkok in a hotel room, my friend was sleeping and I was afraid. I texted my papa to tell him I was afraid. Papa texted me back, “If you really scare, buy a ticket tomorrow and fly back. Pa will pay for it. Don’t worry.” That message that night was enough to make my sleep go well. Pa never failed to make me feel better.

As a teenager, each time when I fall in love, papa is afraid that I get cheated. He tried to guard me in his way. But to me, he was controlling me. I disliked his ideas, I rebelled for times. Papa was only trying to protect his little princess from getting any hurt from a stranger. But I did not listen to him.

When things go out of way, each time I fell out of love, papa again, is afraid I hurt myself because I was brokenhearted. Slowly in growing up, I started to bottle up all my feelings about love. Even when I encounter serious conked out relationships, diary and alcohols becomes my best friend. I started to write, because no one will ever question my feelings.

During one of the lowest point in my love life, I took a bold step – trying to take away my life that I thought was mine. Little did I know, our life does not belongs to us but the one who has created us and brought us here. It was not easy trying to muster enough courage to slit on the wrist with the blade, but under the deepest heart pains, I did. I began to feel excited as I see the blood dripping. At that time, I never had any single second of thinking about its consequences. Papa stormed inside the room by breaking the knob door, carried me in his arm and said, “Why did you want to hurt yourself, hurt us for someone who does not love you? We have taken care of you for more than 20 years, did you know?”

That night, none of us could sleep better. Mi was sitting outside my room the while night afraid I will repeat that again. Papa, for the first time he cried. My heart was like having a sharp knife slitting slowly on my heart and throat when I see his shedding tears. That was when I knew, what I did was wrong. My cousin told me, “No one has the right to take away your life, not even you yourself except your parents because every part of your body belongs to them. You will only allow to do so if they permit you..” I knew, I was wrong, Pa..

I diverted my healings from suicides to clubs. Having to balance my broken hearts and papa in between, I chose to be selfishly, resorting in clubs to heal all the unhappiness. For years, papa was worried about how I stay overnight outside or when I drive alone in the night. Papa did not have good sleep because he was either be waiting for my calls to inform him that I am not back, or when I am back, he opens the door for me.,Sometimes he only had 3-4 sleep before the night turns bright. Now when I think back, seriously, I think I really had a bad, terrible growing-up years. Never in a single second, have I stood in their position and think of how they feel. I was very selfish indeed. Everyone, questioned him about my change because to them, I was not the same with my other cousins. He was pressured into questions he did not know how to answer. I knew, I was wrong, Pa…

Now, at the age of 28 years old – I finally had something that could really peace his heart. Seeing my life a drastic change now, papa could finally feel at ease. I know he is still waiting for me to get really settled down through marriage, bring him a grandkid.. He loves kids, because he is a big kid too.

There is one chinese adage saying, “If a parents can take care of 8 children well, why can’t 8 children take care of a parent?”

For the first 30 decades, papa has chosen to sacrifice himself for us – his offsprings. Now for the next 30 years, am I ready to sacrifice myself to make their life a little bit more colorful?

+ R.I.P Poppi

2011-05-18T21:20:00.000+08:00

Dad texted me today. Our old dog, which has guarded for years, Poppi has gone for good. He was under the weather for the past few days, couldn’t eat. He was old and scrawny dog who insanely bite kittens, rats and birds over the years. We were terrified of him, of course. But he was also fierce enough to protect us from strangers or trespassers for many years since I was a teenager.

I cried, because I felt like something that truly belonged to us for many years suddenly left us. I have not even got the last chance to look at him. Or maybe, I just can’t. I cant seemingly bear to see someone took him away from us, and we all had to bid farewell, forever.

My dear Poppi, jiejie will always remember you…Thank you for watching us safe and sound all these years.

+总觉得。。。不见了一种感觉..

2011-04-19T10:27:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I permitted him to go JS for a gameplay. Yes, he loves computer games and love to be his chums. I was all alone at home with 2 dogs, watching Hong Kong drama. Actually, I dont find it a problem. But sometimes I wished if he could want to stay with me because he wanted to, and not because he thinks he has to.

Happily he jumped, and kissed me goodbye. I can see he was so eager to leave me at home. Maybe, this is one of the issue that we have to learn to tolerate by staying together.

Somehow, I feel like we have lost that kind of feelings I yearned for. I dont know what is that. I wanted to let go, but I am afraid I am gonna regret. I loved him, but already not like how I used to..This feelings has gradually fade away..

+Starry Starry Night..

2011-04-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

The Saturday, Family night..

Last Saturday, we had a family gathering at Cindy's house for BBQ session. As usual, all the old and young attended. Not sure of how and when, I could feel the bond among us is drawing further and further. My brother and I, I don't agree to it that we are anti-social but seriously, we dislikes it so much. If there is a choice, I wouldn't want to go, at all. But everytime, I did not want to disappoint my parents who thinks I have changed after I shifted out.

I remember, even last time we were not close though. But we still hang out together because I feel like we ought to. I did not want to lose that kind of family feelings we should have. I try to love my cousins as my siblings, but the bad childhood in the past will never stop haunting me, things about impartiality.

I remember when I was young at about Standard 1 or 2, Sister Vhanneza bought a pencil case for Cindy. She purposely flaunted it and said it's for me in front of Cindy, she wanted to give it to Cindy but in the end, she gave it to me. I did not use it after all, it was not meant for it. When Cindy is around, everyone only sees her, but not me. Cindy and I, are only 1 year difference, but why, the huge difference of treatment?

That night, I went back early. Not because of the boyfriend was bored, but I, myself being as part of the family feels the boredom too.

+ 3 Sad Stories in A Day

2011-04-07T10:38:00.000+08:00

The boyfriend was parking at a spot in front of the RT Pastry in SS15 when a stranger showed us a sign while pointing on the floor where the car was park, and he said, "There's a kitten." Quickly, I asked the boyfriend to reversed and parked on another spot, while praying for the kitten to be un-harmed.

The kitten was lying on the road, not moving. She was not dead, but I guess she was injured of the hit and run by previous car who parked at the spot. She could not move herself. I was pretty disturbed when I see this even though I do not really like cats family, but to see a little live lying on the road and she could have die anytime because no one will actually noticed her on the floor.

At that point, I was really hoping that the boyfriend could do something to help but, he told me not to bother. I was annoyed, but kept quiet. Luckily, a middle-aged man passed by, looking at her for so long but decided to take her inside on the corridor. At that point, I was thinking inside, "Why isn't the boyfriend thinks the same as I am..?"

So we went to "Tong Sui Kor Kor" nearby at SS15 after that for a dessert. While waiting, there is another cat walking passed by and the boyfriend said, "Look at the cat, she looks so fugly." I turned around and look at her. Yes, she was mess up like she just ran by car or could have fought with other stray cats. I am sure she was hungry. I wanted to get her some food, but yet, I did not do so. The boyfriend said, "There are too many of them, how many can you help?"

..................................

Third, just right before we left and was about to speed off, the boyfriend looked at a messy indian man (he looks like a beggar actually) rummaging on the dustbin for food. He took up a left over food and ATE them. After finishing it, he went over to Asia Cafe. I did not see how he actually took up a dirty food and ate them, but I was very disturbed that night. The boyfriend said, "He is still young, and healthy physically. He should have look for job and not asking for food from people. No need to feel sympathy on this kind of people.."

I was quite angry though. I do not know why I started to feel, if I have found the right man of my life. We, are from two different thinking and perceptions. For me, spending a RM10 for food for someone like him will not caused me any poorer, so why not? Maybe he is a foreigner and no one want to bear the risk of hiring an illegal worker? Maybe there are other reasons that he can't work and hence, he has to beg and search for food like that? Who wants to be that way when they have opportunity not to?

Anyhow, I feel so much guilty and looks like we ought to be thankful for whatever we have now even though we do not own big car or big house; but pretty much better than other strays out there..

Amen!

+ Me, myself and I or You, yourself and theirs.

2011-03-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

What do we expect from a friendship, actually?

From a chat with a friend, I realized how our friendship has change over the years, slowly. She summarized that Miss A has been only talking about she, herself and also herself all the times.[no concern show on her friends but only want attentions from the others.] Miss B, is only asking about us, us and only us without sharing anything of hers. [Trying to concern but also secretive about herself at same time]. Miss C, been complaining on her life, and the another half, yet very confused and dilemma of what she been saying. [Now she wants this, next she does not want. Very fickle-minded]. Miss D, nothing special to update. Miss E, keep on making stupid acts to entertain the rest and Miss F, big smile in the front, but tears on the back.

I thought back slowly…yeah, it really sounds like this. But it was not like this in the past. Maybe, all of us has attached and things started to change gradually even though all of them have been saying, “No, I did not change. I am still the same..bla bla bla.”

Friends, is not just “me, myself and I” nor “you, yourself and theirs” but “you, me and us”. It’s sad to know, we all gather together physically, but our souls and mindset has no longer together. Everyone do it, just because of we have been doing it and has totally forget the intention of doing it..

+We Had A Row

2011-03-23T17:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had a row.

This time, he looked straight at me fiercely enough, with reds around his eyes for about 3 minutes and then he continued watching his DVD, furiously.

It all began when Maxxi started to jump and play around on our bed while we were watching movie. The boyfriend then took a hard punch on him (yes, real hard enough..) How do I know? Because I felt that pain, physically!

Maxxi ran off immediately, and the punches hit onto my upper pelvis bone.It was painful enough because it hit on the bone, not the flesh. I shouted, and scolded at him sarcastically. That was already a 3rd time he accidentally hit me out of his uncontrollable frustration on Maxxi. The first time, he got it on my hand with a thick roll of newspaper. He was trying to hit on Maxxi and I was trying to be a "heroin", saving my lil one - so in the end, I had red and swollen on my hand for 2 days.

The second time, again it was Maxxi - he loved jumping onto the bed through midnight while we are all sleeping. That bad, the boyfriend was not in a good mood and he did not want him to be on the bed. So he woke up, and took the cane - caned him on the blanket that he was hiding inside. He accidentally hitted on my knee - and it was a real hard one. I had a swell on it next day, too.

I've told the boyfriend that he has this urge of hitting without controls. I am afraid he will accidentally kill me in the future because simply he can't control his emotions when his fire flares up, and this, is not good.

So, I walked off to the bathroom and slam the door hard enough. He realised it then and went to sleep. Both of us went to bed, angrily that night. But I realised that I already did not want to do anything to mend it anymore, I can sleep with arguments overnight..

But the next morning, he greeted me nicely as usual. ;D

None of us try to mention back anymore, and I guess, it's good thing..in a way?

+Hachiko

2011-03-17T12:06:00.000+08:00

Hachiko is one of the touching movie I loved.

It is the true story tale in Japan that the American’s put into movie.

It was a touching story that his loyalty and compassionate to his master in Japan that has touched most of the people’s lives there. Hachi-ko, meaning number 8 – prosperous among the Japanese was named from its collar. He was a lost puppy in a train station in Shibuya Japan when the crew has carelessly lost the tag on his kennel and no one went and claimed him after that. He belonged to a Japanese monk.

Fate brings in both of them. Parker, a professor in America happened to bump into this special friend and decided to bring him home. He is not willing to put him into the pound so he tried to convince his wife to let him stay; and she gave in eventually.

Hachiko is a special breed named Akita from Japan. It’s sort of a Japan royal dog that does not entertain the human. He does not fetch because he does not need to.; unless with a special reason. Hachiko loves his master. Every morning, he followed Parker to the train station and then he goes home and come back again at 5pm to welcome his master at the train station. He does that every morning, without fail and everyone there knows Hachiko.

One morning, Hachiko acted unusual. He did not follow Parker to train station and he forbidded him to go out of the house by barking. Parker thought he was sick, so he went without him. Hachiko then picked up the ball and went after him. He finally fetched the ball, Parker thought and he was happy about it. Hachiko wanted to make Parker stay back by fetching the ball to him. But Parker went anyhow.

That day, Parker did not come home. He went passed away in school and never come back. Hachiko waited there day and night. Even when Parker’s family moved to somewhere else, Hachiko recognized the road back to the old home and go back to the station, waited for his master. Everyone told him, “You don’t have to wait for him anymore. But if you want to, you do it..”

9 years later, Hachiko still waiting there; until he passed away on the same spot he was waiting for his master. I cried while watching this. Hachiko misses his master so much, and never forget him even though 9 years has passed.

This, is a true story tale in Japan in the year of 1934. Hachiko passed away in year of 1935 Mac. People who knows him decided to draw and build up a statue of Hachiko in front of the Shibuya Train, the very same spot where he was waiting.

That night, the boyfriend hugged tight Toby to sleep. He seems to be pretty much related to the movie. ;)

+Crashing into Pigaboo's Condo 12 March 2011

2011-03-14T12:26:00.000+08:00

It has been almost a year since the last we all gather together.

Last Saturday, the Avyssa crashed into my condo and what icing the cake that night was the appearance of Susan - who is a mummy now. She has been in Kch for long since her marriage and baby birth. It was no where party, but we had a good "updates" and laughed especially the usual jokes of Angel all the time, along with my darling boys Maxxi and Toby.

Sometimes, seeing back the us in the past...I could conclude that in just 2 years time, everything, everyone has a drastic change of life. My big sister, Angel has a bigger step into her career now and is seeing her achievements; while has since decided something to change too, on her love life. She knows exactly what she wants. Pain decision, sometimes has to be taken.

We have also watched darling Mel got out of her broken marriage, fighting against the odd and was with her through her ups and down. The wonderous things is, she got attached soon after, with a beautiful man who is totally different from her ex-husband and we just knew, this shall be the last one.

My Susan, also got hitched mid of last year. It's weird to think back, she was still with me, playing around and hitting the clubs; and then suddenly, the good news came. We, the sister flown to Kch to be her bridesmaids after that, and now she is already a mother. Her little prince, Scottie is a big fat boy but undoubtedly cute!

This year, I am seeing another stepping ahead with Vin Vin who is going to tie the knot coming November with her loved one, Gift , a Thai-Chinese; and Yen Lee, too with a loving partner for already almost a year time.

Can I say, year 2010 was rather just a beautiful and blessing year for all of us? ;D

While I have been receiving 4 red bombs this year, I knew the time of going towards to wedding bells is drawing nearer. Stress and pressure from friends and relatives are coming along the way. I don't see, yet the bells is necessary for now but, we will see how things go.

xoxo.

+ Always a time for everything..

2011-03-11T09:11:00.002+08:00

There is always a time for everything.

A time to start it,

A time to end it,

A time to be happy about,

A time to be teary,

But...

Life goes on...

+A Stranger's Wake

2011-03-10T15:20:00.001+08:00

Recently, I have come across much unhappy news. First, it was the marriage breakdown of my good friend. Then it was the sudden death of my friend’s sister in law that has undergone an operation diagnosed with cervix thingy at a seemingly reputable private hospital last week. She got home, and the next they knew, she suddenly went black out while talking to the husband in the living room. That, was the last time.

So, we went for the wake the very night. She was only 35 years old, very young indeed; with a long, long road ahead of hers. Yet, of unknown reason, she went collapsed suddenly. The husband refused to send her for post-mortem because according to him, the wife is no longer here and the process of sending her death body for post mortem to the government hospital will be hassling. He did not want her to rest unease. To him, she is death…and it’s pointless to find faults at any party now.

There’s a question mark in me, though.

I would probe for further investigation to know the exact cause of my loved one; and if it’s the fault of the private hospital, at least that particular doctor in charge would know he/she has probably used the wrong treatment on the patient and he/she should be more alert next time. Well, anyway she went peacefully; and whatever left are the unanswered questions linger among the families who still mourn for her.

But on a happy note, I was on leave yesterday to complete my undone task. I have re-new my passport (hiyayaaaaaa….I can go travel overseas again!!) and went for a follow up checkup at SJMC. My gynae said I have fully recovered by now. ;D

+Hard Rock Penang, I am coming!

2011-02-25T13:49:00.000+08:00

Hard Rock Penang, I am coming!

Can't wait to start our journey to Hard Rock Penang tomorrow! This shall be our 2nd trip together in conjunction with our 1st year anniversary!;D

Have a great weekends, peeps.

woo hoo..

+ Uncle William R.I.P

2011-02-21T14:24:00.000+08:00

10 February 2011

While every Hokkien Chinese are praying “Tee Kong” tonight accompanied by the sound of fireworks everywhere in the sky, the ambiance in Aunt Susan's house tonight is extremely gloomy.

He is finally gone to where he belongs to. We believe, he will be freed from suffering and gone to reunite with our grandpa and other relatives. During his ill times, he could hardly breathe. He was very tired to talk, though he wished to. I remember the first time I visited him in the hospital, he was still very energetic and joked with me. That was just 2 weeks ago. And the last time I've seen him was the day before yesterday when the family decided to take him home from hospital, knowing he will not be able to survive this round. He held my hand tight, and looked at me as if he has something to tell me. The one that used to talk very loud, very ego, and very strong man…lay helplessly on the bed, with only gas to prolong his life. I felt his pains, as such…we really do not know whether to , or not to let him go.

The fateful day has finally arrived.

Tonight, I have lost another family member. Everyone will be very upset for his loss, especially my dad - who has a big heart to concern every members of this big big family..

During the chanting time, I sincerely chanted and prayed for him. The monk advised us not to be very upset, because he has been relieved from his pains, and gone to a better world. She said, nothing is permanent in this world and we are all the travelers. When the time has expired, we have to depart. This is LIFE.

Although many religions tell us that, when a person die, they will go to the Heaven. They meets our ancestors, and one day we will join them too. But reality, when does human go after death? Whenever I think of this, my heart started to fear. I do not know where will I be heading to. I do not know where will my dad and mum of this life will be going to. I am so afraid, we will lost our way and end this fate in this life. I do not want to. I really, do not want to. I am not afraid of death, but just afraid of leaving my everything here…my dad, my mum, my brother, my family members…I wished, there will be eternity.

I almost choked of tears when I was there, in the situation where everyone is busy preparing for the wake and funeral. Seeing the “make-up” artist arrived, and all those involved in the wake and funeral running here and there preparing for the time..chickened my heart.

I cried when I peep a last look at him before they finally nailed down the coffin. I cried when all of us the young ones were told to push the hearse that brought away my Uncle to Fairy Park. I cried knowing that we were sending him off and never gonna bring him back. I cried when we were all at the hall, watching his coffin being strolled into the fire store and "burn" him into ashes. I cried...because I still could not accept the fact that, someone close to me for 27 years is now gone. What left, was the ashes of his and the best memories kept in our heart..

May Uncle William Rest In Peace.

+The morning Maxxi being caned..

2011-02-18T09:49:00.000+08:00

This morning, I woke up with tissues and pampers all over the floor. Yes, it’s my darling boys again. I reckon they must be having insomnia that they can’t sleep during the night and finding something to do or to munch. Or, they could be having “hungry-ness” because they’re now only allowed to take a meal a day instead of two.

I woke him up, and he was furious of course. He began to look for his “ka-chang” – thick cane and whacked on Maxxi. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13…..I have lost the counts. It was countless times and hard enough on my baby’s thick skin. He cried pitifully, but I let him be and continued with my shower even though my heart was aching. Yes, my heart aches each time they were being punished, heavily.

Poor Maxxi. He recommended me to give away….How can I give away something I consider already part of my family?

+Discharge today!

2011-02-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

I hate hospital. The smell of hospital reminds me of the frequent days of my brother being operated in University Hospital and I was there to take care of him. In out, in out, even though it had been years, I will never forget the smells that have brought my family the trauma. Thank God, my brother has recovered.

Last Monday, 31-1-2011, I was admitted to SJMC for a ovarian cyst that happened to grow in my uterus. I dreaded to, but I have to. The cyst has caused me ultimate pains since Friday and after much consideration, I decided to take up that challenge and warded myself. I, will never expect that after visiting friends and family laying bedridden on the hospital bed with pajamas provided by hospital, this time…it was me.

The operation was expected at 8.30pm that very night. I checked in at 5pm. Tick tock, tick tock..every half an hour I take a look at the clock. I wish, the time passes slowly. I can’t imagine myself watching too much of TVB dramas of the “patient” was strolled into the operating theatre…and the misery started. That night, that will be me…I was afraid, I was shivering, I was praying for miracle to happen.

8.15pm, the nurse came in, asking me to get prepared. I changed the pajamas on myself, and put myself on the bed. I was being strolled from the room, slowly into the operating theatre. That moment, I so want to cry. I almost cannot control my tears anymore. But I have to be brave and tell myself, “Everything’s gonna be fine.” My parents were there with me, and I did not want them to worry more about me. I made him a “peace”, and fake out a smile before I was strolled into.

In the closed operating hall where everyone is getting ready, I cried. I requested to talk to my gynae for one last time. I asked, “Can I skip the surgery since it’s not painful anymore? Can any medicines help a bit to eliminate?”. My tears flow incessantly suddenly, and the doctor tried to console me by saying, “It’s just a small surgery. Everything’s gonna be okay. Don’t cry..” I was like a little girl being pampered. ;)

The SJMC nurses were very kind. They talked to me to move my attention. Then one of them, started to inject anesthesia on me.

1…..2……3 – I doze off.

The next I woke up, it was bring awake by the nurse who keep calling my name. I was very blur, very sleepy but still I forced myself to get awake. I asked the nurse what time it is. IT was already 11.30pm. That means, I was unconscious for 3 hours and the operation was done, successfully!

The nurses strolled me out of the hall, and I saw my parents were still there. Inside my ward, I was too tired to talk, they went back home after knowing I am safe. I texted my boyfriend, “The operation is done.;)”

The next morning, I felt uncomfortable because there were tubes all over. I dared not to peek at my wound. The nurses will come every one hour to check on my pulse and pressure, and fever. Doctor said, I have excessive bleeding and I needed to take more rest. For first time, I had someone else to clean my body without me having to move around. LOL

The doctor allowed me to discharge on the 3^rd day, the day before Chinese New Year. Initially, he was reluctant because my inner still bleeding. But I insisted because tomorrow is a Chinese New Year, and he let-ted me go.

The moment I stepped out from the hospital, walking like an old grandma wearing a sarung…I felt extreme joys! It was a bad experience, and I hope I will never, ever go in anymore- at least not as a “patient”.

Happy Chinese New Year, peep!

+Is Love Blind, or she is?

2011-01-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

I know this friend ...well actually, she is not a friend nor an enemy. Just..some acquaintance of a past that happened to link together.

She knows he is a married man with kids. She knows he had been cheating behind her with another woman. She knows he will not get any divorce. She knows, and she sees so well of her future being with him, a dim dark road to go...No more wedding gown, no more fantasy wedding dreams, no more the “First and Only One” in a man’s life, but still she persist and walk together with this man blindly. Is love blind, or she is?

Every time I see her, I cant help but to re-trace back my past – the point where I hated most once in my life, and wish to forget them right away. But now, everything has come to a forgiven stage...and I truly hope, she is happy.

+A Husband's Infidelity

2011-01-07T12:04:00.001+08:00

Today is not just a cold and breezy day. But to me, it’s rather a heartrending and gloomy day as I came to a chronicle told by a buddy relating a story of another friend’s marriage. In my Facebook, here I posted,

“The most miserable people in the world are not single people. They are married people who realized that their marriage was a mistake”

I have too many friends who felt that way. And sadly, I feel helpless watching them falling down deeper and deeper. There is nothing I can do, except lending out my shoulders to cry on and ears to listen.

Listening to her stories, aches my heart..really. I’ve never thought story like this will happen to any of my friends.

A year back, she found him something fishy. Thanks to Maxis Friend Finder, she went and checked on him secretly and found another side of her husband, who appeared to be just Mr.Good Husband and Father all the while. The finding told that he had been going to a pub almost every night. To attest solid evidence, she asked my friend who lived nearby to go and check out.

The friend of mine indeed saw the husband hugging another woman in the pub, performing unusual relationship. Even when my friend walked past, he was ogling at her from up to down, like a desperate horny man. So disgusted.

The journey of investigating begins here. My friend told whatever she seen to the victim. Even though she knew the learning of husband’s infidelity is one of the most traumatic a woman can go through, she gripped tight and decided to hire a PI.

She began to have many questions in her mind, for; she has never expected things like that will happen. She is still hoping to live in a happy family, with her beautiful daughter and Mr. Good Husband and Father. But reality hurts. She began not to have any sexual intercourse with the husband. A man can have sex with a woman he does not love, but a woman will only have sex with a man she truly loved.

One night, her husband forced himself on her even if she has demanded not, and struggled. During the sleeps, the husband took off her clothes forcefully, and tried to do it on her. **I cant imagine this, it’s so heartbreaking to know a man she truly loved and married with, has turn to a aggressive strange man on the bed who does not respect her anymore..

Even worse, when the daughter is sleeping and in midst of drunkenness, he wanted to have sex with my friend and she said NO. He turned into a nasty dirty man who then banged her to the wall and said, “It’s just for awhile.”

I began to put myself in her shoes. What if my husband does that to me? Who am I to him after all the wonderful marriage years? A sex machine? A F.O.C hooker? I don’t know. But my heart went excruciating pains enough, just like how she felt.

A year has passed. It isn’t easy to go through this stage, but I am glad to know she has overcome this and leading to a better stage of life.

Husband, please evaluate yourself before you do anything to hurt the one you promised to protect and loved during the wedding vows…remember?

****

+31 Dec - Special Holidays..

2010-12-31T15:47:00.000+08:00

30 December 2010 - It was a happy Thursday night as the PM has suddenly announced a special holidays tomorrow to celebrate the victory over Indonesia in a regional football tournaments. Only gotten this good news upon reaching office when Wai Mei asked me,"Do we have a holidays tomorrow?" I said, "I doubt so.."

The God came in early, and I reconfirmed with him. I doubt he did not know that such holidays, he is not compulsory to grant us as according to the Labour Law. (Yes, I re-confirmed that with the Employment Acts) but, surprisingly, he said, "Okay."

Yippieeee......!!! Quickly, I took up my mobile and texted the colleagues, "It's holiday tomorrow!!". ;)

That night, we went to the Opera but it was really a quick decision that was made up only at 12am..There were party crowds everywhere. We managed to get ourselves a table, luckily.

Not sure if it's the wrong channels of people I went with, or am I getting older....I was just too tired to shout and to dance with the musics like how I used to be. Being sober all the night, even though I've had few drinks of Black Label, but still, I was conscious as ever. I was like an observant through the night, watching the undrinkable drinks, and undance-able danced. It was pretty amusing, there were many kind of "patterns".

I was watching a lady grooving with the musics on the podium. She was enjoying the musics, the way she moved it...I particularly like. She looked so sexy on the dance floor. No wonder men enjoying a woman's dance. I wish I could let my self "free" like her, let it all out and just groove...but I was too sober, I decided just to glued on my comfy chair.

Then I turned my concentration on the table next to us. A group of "middle-aged" men with 2 ladies, who seems to be pretty drunk. HE was holding her, while she was drunks, can't even sit properly. They were kissing passionately in the club, like no body business. They think we are invisible. How pathetic. Then, I think she wanted to go to the ladies, and HE got another man to lead her. The ANOTHER MAN was holding her waist tight, to me, it was sexual harassment! She got back, and moving towards another man. She was dancing with the another man, hugging and caressing.

I felt, total disgusted!! I was so confused of the relationships they were having. What had happened to today's society, really?

On my another angle, there were a group of youngster (bengs and lians) were dancing. This boy with gold hairs, was "shuffling" in front of the mirror stand, watching himself. Some people just enjoy watching themselves moving their body in front of the mirror. So funnyyyy.

Near to 2am, I was already yawning. I was so tired that I felt disgusted to stay any longer in that place.

Asked myself again, "Am I getting older?"

+Wow Deal - Online Service Offering Great Deals Everyday!

2010-12-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

Ever heard of Wowdeal.com? It's a online service offering daily deals in Malaysia to experience the highest quality on the best stuff to do, eat, and visit in Malaysia.It's similar to the group buy concept which uses collective buying power to offer amazing price discounts up to 90%. So we “Buy Together and Save More”.. I think it's quite innovative for person who started off with this because its really a great place to shop around with really unique stuffs at amazing prices. hrmmpp.... Unbelievable!

How does it work?

As I mentioned, it's group buy concept. Once the minimum number of buyers for a certain deal is reached, the deal is ON! But remember, each deal has a limited time to buy to make it more exclusive. After that, the WowTeam will send you a confirmation into your email inbox and you may download the voucher from there. That's it! ;) If you need further details, check this out..here.

They could offer you discounts up to 50-90% on each deal. For instance, I've just purchased an awesome Spanish dish with 2 pints of Hoegarden at the price of just RM60 instead of the normal price at RM120, all at Esparati Mediterranean Fun Dining & Bar. =) Isn't that cool? wink wink

Follow the WowTeam at their Facebook and Twitter for more interesting discounts!

xoxo

+Another Broken Family..

2010-12-29T16:27:00.000+08:00

She remained tough and calm when she slowly relates her sobbing stories to me. She said, “I had enough of all these life over all these evil months. I am now getting flight tickets for my parents to bring me home…..”

Isn’t that sad? When I hear that, my heart was crying with her. I see my own bestie married off with a man she thought would be her Mr. Right, we had a simple but elegant dinner at the man’s place but few months down the road, the marriage is no longer happy as it was.

The saddest part was, she was forced to leave her little boy of barely just 2 months with the man. It was her baby that no one could replace…No matter how tough she seems to be, deep down I know, she feels guilty to abandon him. And little *** no longer has a happy family. It was not an overnight decision, but she just couldn’t bare the pains of being humiliated by the man she called, “HUSBAND” and being suspicious all times over her Casanova husband who goes gallivanting in the nightclubs all the days!

Marriage is just a beautiful occasion happen in life that every girl dreams of. It’s the once in a lifetime. We yearn for perfection. We made it. But again, it’s two different issues on getting a marriage and maintaining them. She, would rather given up..and she is ready to walk through the divorce stage alone, by herself.

You have my support, honey…

+The New Year of 2011

2010-12-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

Embarking into the New Year in another 3 days time…How do you feel, readers?

Every year this date, I’ll feel especially emotional…because I stop and recall back the things I have done in the Year 2010. What has Year 2010 given to my life? Was it sad, was it happy? Was it full of tears or was it full of laughters? How has Year 2010 changed my life? Or has it been just the same?

There are too many questions asked to myself. While the Year 2009 seems to be very much miserable for me, but not in the year of 2010. *I heart it*.

Beginning of the year, I found a man whom I first thought of future planning with. We moved in together, trying to learn to live in together before we proceed to next stage. He also brought in my little Toby and Maxxi, and my life then after, is a total change. My daddy, especially is too happy with the changes, because his little princess no longer drive out to the club in the night and only come back in the wee hours. ;)

Yes, being a party-goers for years…finally, yes finally, I have decided to settle down. Maybe I am getting older, and my body functions are pretty weak by now..I do not yearn for alcohols or loud music anymore. Now….I just wish to have a peaceful night with my love, and my 2 little boys at home..

Of course, at times we do fight. Fight because we have different personality, background, educations, concepts, perceptions, etc…but I learned, most couples failed to maintain their relationships because they easily give up of a little argument. Every time when we have a tiff, I choose to calm down and look for solution, rather than blaming one another. I always think, if this is the relationship we want, if this is the man we want our kid to call him daddy in the future, then we must improve ourselves. Throwing tantrums, venting angers on our partner does not bring anything good. In the end, it jeopardized the relationships and two of us draws further and further..

I have been telling this all the while to the boyfriend too, and I think, day to day, he changes to a better person. No longer the temperamental person I first met. Yes, he was a very, very bad temper person. =)

On myself, from a spoilt brat at home, not knowing anything about house-chores, laundry, cooking, sweeping, mopping, etc etc…because mummy does it alllll….but the day when I started to move out, I learn to do all this. I realized, it was really a tiring job especially when I am very tired and fatigued after work, and still, there are bunch to do upon reaching home. I realized, how tired my mummy is..I realized, how in filial I was..There was a night where I got home alone after work, and I was frustrated towards all the house chores but I have no choice. It’s my home. I have to do it by myself. I was cleaning my puppies’ cage with shiets all over, and suddenly I cried. I cried incessantly, and wondering, why am I doing that alone?

But after that, the tears stopped and still, I have to continue the task. So? Crying does not help anything at all. :P

But the good thing is, I am no longer the useless person I always thought I am. I am pretty much independent by now…This is when my daddy’s smiles grow larger. J

Hoping for a better Year of 2011.

Hope the same to all of my loved ones, may the Year of 2011 brings in more health and happiness…