Ramblings of a Pigaboo

When I was born, I have 5 siblings together. I was born as the only boy among them, and I was also the first little one to crawl out from my biological mum’s womb. I was there for about 2 months until a young lady came and took me away, leaving all my siblings crying behind, waving goodbye. I was upset, I did not know what have I done, that my-then owner did not want me. I was sad, I did not even have a time to bid farewell to my mum and sisters.

I was brought to another place, it was small and messy. There was another man and a …four-legged species, like me. But he has a brown and curl fur. He is big, and ugly too. I heard them calling him, Toby. He tried to sniff me, and play with me. But I did not want to. I felt annoyed that he followed me wherever I go. I had depression for 1 day, until I realized, this young lady could be my new owner. She called herself mummy, and called myself Maxxi. She told me my name is Maxxi Lim. Well, I think it sounds so gay!

Anyway, she feed me with food, shower me, dry me up, and massage me whenever I lie down. She even bought toys for me to play. At night, the man called as ,”daddy” locked me inside the crate. I cried,and I could not sleep. I got so used to sleep with my mum and siblings, but that night, I was all alone. That brown four-legged was sleeping next crate to mine, so soundly. I cried non-stop until mummy let me out and sleep with her. From that night onwards, I sleep next to mummy.

Mummy loved me dearly. I was clumsy and fat, sometimes, I fell. I always got bullied by this giant brown fur, but mummy always try to protect me.  Sometimes, they go out and left two of us in the room. When they come back, I always in deep shit. Because I could not hold my urine for long. I peed and I shitted on my little mattress. There were stool everywhere. Daddy got angry and furious, he took out the cane and whack me like no one else business. But after that, they cleaned up my crib and play with me again.

  I was very curious, curious of everything. I just can't sit still. My daddy called me a "ke poh chi:", means its busybody because I can;t rest myself unless I got very tired. I wander and sniff the whole area and I even played with myself. Sometimes, I provoked Toby. My daddy said I am very dominant of everything. When Toby is given a toy, I will snatch from him even though I already have one. When toby goes near them, I try to move him away. When Toby is given some snack, I snatch from him. Everyone says I am a big bully. Everyone does not love me. But please understand that this is my nature. I am lack of security. Please understand that, yiou may have everyone, but I only have you.

Days passed, I grow older, bigger and taller. And the brown four-legged, seems to be smaller and shorter.
I am now 1 year old. Mummy held a small birthday party for me. He got me a cake, but it was meant for her and daddy to eat. He got me a toy, but it was meant to share with Toby. Well, but the most important is, I got all the snacks! I love my mummy so much.

Whenever visitors come to my house, I bark! I bark because I was too happy! I never really have visitors coming to my place and play with me and when it does, I bark like no one else business. But they think I am too noisy, they don’t understand my expression. Sometimes, daddy whacked me, and I have to keep quiet. When he let me out of the crate, I went sniffing all of them. I jump on them, I was very curious about them, and I want them to call me, to touch me. But they shoosh me away. Maybe, I am big, grandma said I am ugly, maybe my claw has hurt them, but I hope they know, I don’t meant it that way. There were times, they only let Toby out and play with him, while I was left inside the crate, watching them play happily. I look at mummy pitifully, but mummy cannot do anything. Sometimes, daddy scolded mummy for letting me out.

I do not know why. But I just loved biting. I bite almost everything in the house and drive my mummy crazy. But yet, she still loved me most. I bite on their socks, furniture, tissues, pants, cloths, spectacles, everything! I even ate their cakes on the table secretly, but got caught after that because the crème stained on my fur. Yet, she still loved me most. Sometimes, daddy scolded mummy for protecting me when I done the wrong things. And mummy tells daddy, “He is still a baby…”, she always said that!

There was once, I bite on mummy’s hand and she bleeds. Daddy was very furious, he threw me on the floor, and mummy was crying. Then they went out. When they came back 2 hours later, daddy looked at me angrily. I knew I was in deep shit. Still, I hid myself behind mummy. I clinged hard to mummy, seeking for protection. Daddy scolded me for biting her hands.

 I am sorry, mummy. I don’t mean to bite you. I hope you know, I was just uncontrollable when I am too engrossed into playing with Toby. Please do not disown me.

Still, mummy hugged and adored me.

We then shifted to somewhere else. Everything was messy again. But Toby was not there. Even though I hate Toby sometimes, but he is my good brother. My mummy always tell me, “Toby is your elder brother. You must loved him.” I wonder where he was, he was missing for days. I missed him so much.
In a new environment, daddy and mummy left me there. I barked, I cried, then I howled. I was too afraid of being alone. I have never being alone before. This place was a total stranger to me. I did not want to be there alone. Mummy quickly stepped in and hugged me, she told me not to be afraid. Then daddy came in, and whacked me with cane, asked me to keep quiet. Daddy put on my muzzle to prevent me from making noise, and he left me there.

5 hours later, they came home! I was jumping crazily in the crate. I saw my mummy! I cried, asked her to remove the muzzle. I was shivering then because I was too afraid. That night, I had bad diarrhea and mummy took me to my bestfriend, Dr. Yap for treatment. I heard them saying, I was paranoid of environment changed. Then I saw Toby! I was happy to see my brother back. He was hospitalized because of diarrhea too.  But I was permitted to go home, Toby has to stay another 2 days. Poor Toby.

At home, I cling to mummy. I sleep under the blanket with mummy, I felt so insecure. But mummy’s warm body makes me feel secure enough through the night. Mummy never failed to protect me through the night. Sometimes, she wakes up in the middle of night just to make sure I pee and poo enough. Sometimes, she makes sure I am not starved. Sometimes, she comes back early, just to make sure we are alright.

Slowly, I am adapting to the place. I have a bigger place to run now! And sometimes, I get to go to the field next to our home awhile. Daddy said I am "illegal", so I have to behave quietly else the "bangla" will take me away.
Recently, mummy called me "xi xi"! How girly! But I like it. I think I have alot of pet names. Some big size spectacle-uncles would come my house and call me hak chai.

Mummy always buy me junkies and toys to compensate. She always talk to me like I understand. I always heard her saying, “You are a big boy now. Last time when I take you home, you are still very very small. Now you are big and naughty, but mummy still loved you most.”

 Mummy, I love you too…